When I grow up I want to be an Atomic Bomb.

Adulthood

Okay, I’m 22 years old.
I am almost 23, but I start off this post by mentioning this simply to state: I’m not old.
I’m not super old, but I am also what is considered an “old soul” in that I have always been mature even since I was younger.
But that aside, the beginning of this post is me stating that I am not in fact old.

So, when I moved to Provo I decided that I was going to move in with roommates, because I didn’t know anyone here in Provo and I thought it would be a good way for me to adjust to Utah life. Then when things got weird and I wanted to move, I realized that paying such a small amount in rent could mean that I could get my own house in a year and a half to a year.
I’m all about that.
In fact, it’s my major goal now.

Anyways, I am living with these three other girls and two of them are 20 and the other one is 18. Now, it seems like they are just a few years younger than me, but in reality it’s like I am 10 years older than them simply because of maturity.
One of them has actually started calling me “Mom”, because so much of the advice I give and the things I say as they are making decisions is sounds like a mother who is trying to do what’s best for the children.
Not sure how I feel about that, but it’s just how things come out.

There are always moments though with them where I just realize how old I am.
Recently we were all sitting in our living room talking late at night and all of a sudden the 18-year-old roommate starts screaming.
She was facing a window and she said that she saw a face with a mask on in the window. My first reaction was I walked over and closed the blinds.
But she would not stop crying.
So, I went outside and found that the girls in the apartment next to ours (also very young) decided to do their make up like American Horror Story and stick their face in our window.
American Horror Story
So, part one of being an adult, giving lectures to young girls about what if someone saw them walking around and attacked them since they were dressed so scary late at night.
Also, that those sorts of pranks are not funny, but mean and how badly they scared my roommate.

Then I return to my apartment and find all of my roommates plotting revenge against these girls for being so cruel. They were coming up with things they could do in order to “get them back”.
Their best idea would be where they would purchase a bunch of frozen spiders from a pet shop, usually used to feed to snakes and then re-freeze them to where the spiders are stunned, thaw them and then put them in a box on these girls front doorstep.
Huge dick move.

Second part of being an adult:

“Okay guys, we can do that, but then they really won’t think about how wrong what they did is.
Also, that would put us on their level.”

…..
The looks they all gave me.
As the words were coming out of my mouth, I did feel super old.
I mean, only old people want someone to think about what they have done wrong when getting them back.

There are just a lot of moments lately where I have been realizing how old I have become.
It’s like when my roommates tell me that I am rich.
I am not rich, I am just old. Older people have better jobs. Simple as that.

The point is, it’s not funny to dress up like a scary person and walk around at night.
That’s just irresponsible.

Color Coded Business Casual

So, today we had corporate come into our new Provo office as a lot of our new interns were starting today.
Now, it was not required that we wear business casual,  but pretty much everyone ended up dressing up, because it was almost implied since the Vice President and HR was coming down.
I personally can dig wearing business casual, because business means pencil skirts which I like to get a little retro/pin-up sometimes and pencil skirts are a good way to do it.
But the casual part means that I get to be myself.

So this is what I ended up wearing to work today:



ColorCoded

ColorCodedShoes

 

ColorCodedSelfie

 

Okay, I always try to wear tights or nylons with my skirts. It’s like foundation for your legs.t
Well, anytime I wear colored leggings I always think of my sister saying “Yeah, but my legs aren’t really green and everyone can tell.”
But who can resist doing an all green business casual outfit with a red pop?
Like really.
Plus, after you have not had to wear business casual everyday, you stop getting shoes that are consistently comfortable and just look good, somehow in my head wearing an oversized button up helps with that.
Maybe.
Headband by Monroe and Harlow, skirt by Forever 21, Shirt via Thrift Store, Shoes via Thrift Store, Tights via Target.
Just felt like I needed to specify.

Anyways, that’s what I wore today and I was pretty proud of myself.

So, I have this weird habit of posting my costume from the previous year a year later.
This is largely due to the fact that I can never get the Halloween photos up close enough to Halloween to where it is still relevant.
However, I may have to break that up this year, because my costume is really REALLY good.
Anyways, last year I was Gothic:

Goth Costume 1

Goth Costume 2

 

 

This costume convinced me that I need to use wigs on Halloween, because transforming your hair is the worst. Super sticky and just hard and gross. (That’s what she said)
Also, people at work kept coming up to me saying “I see you’re…the Goonies?”
Yep, I am the entire movie.

I can admit it was not my best costume, but I had snake bites.

Thrift Store Army Shirt.

Okay, this is obviously not a fashion blog, but occasionally I do like to post things I wear on here.
Ever since I was a teenager I used to pride myself on taking a piece of clothing that is off-the-wall/weird/ugly and making it work for me. There’s a secret sense of accomplishment and excitement when you can take something that maybe shouldn’t have happened and turn around to people complimenting you in it.
Basically I feel like the things I wear are a prank on everyone that looks at me.
Naturally.

Well, lately I have been doing a little thrift shopping and I just want to share some of the things I find.
Like this full on army shirt:

IMG_1791.PNG

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Heck yes.
At this point I can honestly say I wish I enlisted, because I dig that shirt so much now.
Also, the best part about camouflage is that when you put it on, you become invisible.
Fun fact.

Stress Acne.

Okay, if my life was a book (which it kind of is) the last month of my life would be written under a chapter called “Stress Acne”.
I moved to Utah last weekend and the weeks leading up to this change were just as stressful as making the change and the week that followed making this change.
I didn’t really blog about it, even though a few people asked me to, simply because I was too stressed out to even be able formulate words describing how stressed out I was.
There has been a lot of crying this last week. And a flat tire, my car being towed, horrible meetings, fights with roommates and lots of nightmares that I wake up thinking they are true.
That’s a lot of things that I didn’t want to blog about, because then this really would become a crying fest.

I was talking with someone recently who told me that we truly underestimate how traumatic it is to uproot everything we know and start over.
I feel like there is a major amount of truth to that. As I have been moving, even the smallest person in my life from California can make me cry.
I mean, I’m not best friends with this person, but suddenly I love them because they represent everything about my old life that I am missing.
The simplest things in life suddenly become super difficult.
For example, Utah doesn’t have Bank of America. There is one ATM 45 miles away from my house that I have to drive to if I want to access my account with Bank of America.
That was really upsetting when I found that out.

I don’t really know what else to say about the move, because I’m just trying my best at this point and I have honestly reached a point where if something bad happens, I just start laughing.
I mean, when you hit a point where you get a flat tire the week after you’ve moved, you have reached your max on getting upset.
You reach a point of ‘Oh Well’
You get lost again. It’s freezing cold always. You have no socks.
Oh freaking well.
It will all work out.

(There is a song there, you can listen to it here.)

Instagram   

Ghost.

I have successfully become a ghost.
Let me elaborate.

Last night I was out with some friends and we went to go get some ice cream.
Pretty fun.
Well, we were all sitting around a table eating ice cream and another person came and walked up, one of the people at our table started to introduce everyone and started off with:

“This is Corrie, she is amazing. So enjoy her for two days, because she is gone.”

Whoa, what the heck?
I had that moment where I realized that I was leaving. Which I have been making plans this entire time for when I leave, but right then is when it finally hit me that I was actually leaving.
That’s when it got weird.

Suddenly everything I did with my friends or everything that I am doing now just feels like I am living in a memory.
Which sounds very odd, but that is how I feel at the moment.
Everyone that I talk to, everything that I do has relevance to what is happening right now, but also does not matter because I will not be here to see the results of what happens.
It’s like I am living in a memory.
Everything that happens is relevant and I am a part of it, but there is nothing I can do about what follows.
I am just a ghost hanging around that everyone is aware of, but I can’t really be a part of anything because I am already gone.


I don’t know what else to say about this except I am sad.
But sad doesn’t really cover the nostalgia I feel for the actual moments I am living in.
I am missing people who I am standing next to. I am pining for this that are happening in front of me.
I am a ghost.
Instagram 

This weekend.

So, next Thursday is my last day living in California.
My company decided to transfer me to Utah in July and I said yes.
Now, personally I was going back and forth about it in my head. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to go or not and I was rather torn.
I have never lived in Utah before and I don’t really know too many people who do.
Pretty much just starting over fresh here…

As I have been going about my week and people have been approaching me about moving, they have been asking me pretty much the same questions.
“Are you excited? Are you scared? How are you feeling about this?”
Here’s the thing, I am not really feeling anything at the moment.

Now, I am stressed out. I can feel that.
At one point this week I seriously felt like I was going to have a heart attack I was so stressed out, but I did calm down.
I’m on a short fuse though. I will blow up at any second over anything that is willing to be my scapegoat.
However, outside of the stress that comes with trying to move, I am not really thinking about it yet.

I have a place I am going to live. I have hotels for the next weekend when I am driving up there.
I don’t have much stuff to pack up. 4 Rubbermaid boxes.
Everything I own can fit into 4 Rubbermaid boxes. That’s a bit scary.
Anyways, everything is pretty much done for my move except for actually driving to Utah.
So, I don’t know how to feel right now. I just am waiting almost while everyone else asks me how I am feeling.
My mother keeps giving me these long hugs and telling me how much she loves me.
My favorite supervisor at work told me today that I should just get a webcam since we are still going to be at the same company, that way I can web chat with people at our California office through the company chat.
One of my coworkers started hugging me and almost crying when I told her that Thursday is my last day at this office.

I was a bit shocked to see how many people were upset I would be leaving.
And then why am I not more upset?
I mean, I feel like I am supposed to go and I am ready to go. But should I be more sad that I am leaving?
I don’t know.

Anyways, thought I would share part of why I have disappeared lately.
Trying to relocate and figure out life and crap.

Having fun..

Instagram 

(There is a video here.)

Follow me on Instagram.
You can’t see me wink at you.

Instagram

I’m still here.

So, every time I have a lull in writing on my blog, I always feel like I have to explain why I was gone so long.
Well, I feel like sometimes there is not more I can say about what’s going on in my life.
I mean, how many times do you guys want to read about how lost I am or the fact that my life is one huge experiment in making questionable choices and then living with the consequences?
And during those times I always feel less inclined to post some of my more silly posts, like the ones of what I like to wear, because even though there is not much thought that goes into those, I am just not feeling it.

Instead of explaining, I figured I would just post a song about how I have been feeling lately.

(There is a song, listen to it here.)

Wanna hear me sing?

So, there is this guy I am friends with on Facebook who is a creative type.
And every Sunday he makes videos of himself playing the piano and singing.
He’s really good…also really attractive.
There’s just a lot of pros to watching him sing on Sunday like a little fan girl.
And when you are following someone doing covers of songs, you request a song, right?
He sang a song for me and so then he requested that I sing a song for him…

(There’s a video, view it here.)

Well, after I created it and posted it on Instagram for my friend, I received this video from my sister’s friend:

(There’s a video, view it here.)

I blushed when I saw it.
Apparently I have a fan.

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