Okay, what I am about to impart with you can only be the result of two causes, but it shall be another “Woe is me” post. You will all get used to it eventually.
Lately I have found that the only people I encounter (outside of family) are ones that I end up caring about, but they could care less about me. So, I’ve decide that maybe it’s just because I am lonely or maybe I am just super pathetic.
First off, I am okay with the idea that I am socially pathetic. Not in the fact that I can’t socialize, but in the fact that I can’t seal the deal. Or if I do, it’s only in my head. I like people a lot and it just doesn’t work both ways.
And then I figure “Oh, I’ll show them and leave them alone.” Then they forget about you. Who did I really hurt during that one?
See, I have this amazing capacity to care about people. To empathize then try to be everyone’s best friend. I guess I am one of those bleeding hearts people. Not that I let everyone walk over me.
I just like people. I enjoy complimenting people and making them feel good.
But it all goes south, because I have this tendency to attach feelings to people who do not necessarily reciprocate such feelings. And I am not talking about romantic feelings, although this does happen in those situations too, I am talking about feelings in general.
I have them, you don’t.
It’s on days like today where I end up sitting alone thinking: Why in the hell do I do that? Why help people when I need help I have no one to call? Why should I care about people when they don’t give a damn about me?
I mean, it may seem like an admirable quality to always be caring and nice to people, but at the end of the day I find I just crave for someone to extend the small bits that I do to them.
Anyways, I’m going to go eat some worms.Follow @corzgalore