Okay, one thing that I have mentioned before a few times, but don’t really go into a ton of detail on here is the fact that I grew up in an extremely orthodox religious home.
Which was good. Nothing else, but orthodox religion will give you an annoyingly unshakable set of morals…even if you are not religious.
I am no longer religious. Do not mistake this for a lack of beliefs, but my beliefs do not necessarily revolve around a God.
Anyways, here is the fun part, due to the economy (and when I say that it is literally due to the economy) I could probably never afford to live on my own.
I honestly don’t even know how anyone besides the boss of my boss can afford to live on their own. I don’t even know how my parents can afford it.
Yet somehow they do and they allow me to live with them.
BUT my parents and the rest of most of my family are still very much religious. The same amount of religious actually. And I’m not.
So, I find a lot of my time is spent being respectful. Working to make sure they know that I am not going to openly rebel or make life uncomfortable in their house. I also spend a lot of time doing things that I know they want me to.
And here’s the thing, I do not mind religion. I feel that everyone should be able to believe they want to. God doesn’t offend me, he’s just not my cup of tea.
Despite this, I really don’t mind religion. I don’t mind going to church and sitting there.
Now, you would think that stifling your personal beliefs and going to church out of respect would be enough, but the problem is that when you do that, they want you to enjoy it.
It’s almost as if they forget that you are just there for them. They want you to enjoy it and participate.
For example, and this happens a lot:
Will you pray for us?
Not only do I not want to, because of my beliefs, but I also think that would be disrespectful.
I mean, I definitely could pray for them, but it wouldn’t mean anything to me.
Praying and participating and such when I don’t believe in it just seems hypocritical and almost like I am indirectly mocking them.
Which of course I would never do.
But they see it as you coming back to their beliefs and helping you reconnect.
Anyways, it’s just a really complex and difficult situation. And I am at a point of restlessness where I am wanting less involvement.
I just want to be respectful, but still myself. And to have people respect who you are, but who you are is not correct.
So, you can’t do that.
I don’t know.Follow @corzgalore