You know when you encounter someone who is just not someone you ever wanted to encounter?
Someone who everything they do just makes you want to say:
Hey, could you be a little more repulsive? I’m not quite fully disgusted with you yet.
And all you want to do to this person is just tell them off and let them know exactly what you think about them, because they clearly have no issues telling you what they think about you.
There is this guy who is just so disgusting to me. And not in a gross way, just in a jerkish way.
Every experience I have had with this person just makes me cringe inside and sometimes he will do something and I will verbally go “Ugh” and just shake my head.
Seriously, I strongly dislike so many things that this person chooses to be.
And then I told this person this.
Over and over.
How much I didn’t like them. How much I wished they would just leave me alone.
And yet they still kept talking to me. Kept trying to be around me.
Until months later when once again I told them to just please leave me alone in the most respectful way.
I told this person that I just don’t think we should ever, ever talk with each other.
And this person told me: “I don’t think you really know me at all.”
This is one of the those moments where I realize that I have become a grown up.
Because instead of holding on to all of the gross things this person has said to me and remembering how hurtful this person has been, I started thinking about how I probably didn’t know this individual.
I end up thinking about how this is a person who has hopes and dreams and feelings. And that I probably hurt them just as much as they hurt me and it probably seemed really unwarranted to them.
That this person probably doesn’t realize that they have been a total jerk-off and instead it just seems like I was just venomous for no reason.
Dammit, that sick bastard probably has a mother who really loves him too.
So, instead of just moving on, I find myself apologizing to someone who I just told yesterday to go away.
And I am eating crow to someone who probably doesn’t even care either way about me or the things I said.
I find this part of my morality and guilt tripping of myself to be completely annoying.
But then I wonder if it really is annoying or just a sign maturity. If I am growing up and becoming a better person? Obviously.
And then the next step would be never saying anything to someone like this? Just to keep my cool.
I don’t know. I guess a person’s a person and they deserve to be treated like one, even if you don’t get that same treatment back or really anything out of it.
This is adulthood?Follow @corzgalore