Yesterday I was kinda depressed a lot.
Every once in a while I get the feeling like my life isn’t progressing at all. That everyone else is out living their lives and doing amazing things, but I’m just at a stand still watching them. I’m not moving forward and I’m possibly moving backwards during this process. Like I’m standing still on one of those airport flat escalators going the opposite directions.
Not progressing at all.
It’s hard when other people try to convince you that you are progressing despite the fact that you feel you aren’t. Like yesterday I went to talk to my mother about my feelings, cause mother’s normally like hearing children’s feelings, and her reply was that I was in school and working, what more progression did I want?
I suppose it is just hard for other people to understand when someone feels this way. Yes the fact that I am in school and working makes it seem like I’m moving forward, but imagine what I see.
I see all these hopes and dreams I have that I’m not accomplishing. Some of them I seem to have a ton of conditions attached to them, like “OH! I’ll do that when I’m older.” or “I’m gonna do that when I have more money.” Which makes them a little bit more appealing and makes me feel a little more annoyed with my lack of accomplishments.
But at the same time, those conditions are there for a reason. You can’t always throw caution to the wind and follow all of your dreams at the same time, sometimes you have to wait. Dangit.
I know that other people probably feel this way sometimes. In fact, I’m almost sure of it. Because yesterday when I told my Father about these things, he told me he feels that way sometimes too. Then he took me out to eat to help me feel better.
He’s a kind man.
Anyways, I just felt like writing down some of these things and I knew that someone would relate a bit. I suppose there is always a small bit of comfort in knowing that someone else is feeling the same as you are.
That’s why group therapy is so freaking popular.