I’m not that guy…
Any single male can level with a certain pain and anguish. If they haven’t yet experienced this pain, they most likely can imagine it. Any single male who is looking to date has one common enemy. That would be me. I am the girl who your date brought along to make things less awkward. I am the dreaded third wheel. I’m the friend that came along on your dinner date because your real date doesn’t really like you or is just too nervous to be around you alone.
That would be me. I am that girl.
I know what guys must think about why I’m in this situation so often. “She can’t get her own dates so she has to live vicariously through her friends.” That would be nice, except what really happens is that I am most of the time just as shocked to see a guy on these dates as you are shocked to see me. Most of the time my “friend” doesn’t let on to the fact that a guy will be joining us.
I’m no stranger to these antics. I’ve had multiple friends do this to me. Something about me just says “I’m so fun that I will fill up any awkward silences, yet I’m still gullible enough to believe we are going to be hanging out alone.” Most of the time I usually just have to stop hanging out with these “friends” because I never can tell if we are going to hang out or just go on a date. I don’t count that as friendship.
Well one person that I will never be able to get away from going out with is my sister. How does she usually get me to go? Complete denial that it’s an actual date. Even after the date. I will always fall prey to this.
Well tonight we went on a date with a boy at a frozen yogurt shop. There was supposed to be a movie afterwards, but he didn’t want to watch a movie with me as well. Surprise Surprise.
I’m not going to say that it was one of the worst dates that I’ve played third wheel on, because as a rule other people’s dates are generally boring, for those of you who were wondering what they are like. Other people’s dates are really boring. All they want to do is talk to each other, as they should, and you get ignored. That’s the whole point of being the third wheel. The awkward add in. THAT’S WHY YOU DON’T BRING YOUR FRIENDS ON DATES WITH YOU! Specifically me. I really don’t want to go on your dates. Honestly, that’s enough of that. I don’t like it.
Anyways, during the course of them talking and me sitting there, this man starts to describe in detail how he would kidnap, tie-up, torture and kill both of us. Then after this, he described skinning us and wearing our skins. Afterwards he said the words “I’m not that guy.”
Well I was sure as hell hoping he wasn’t that guy. I didn’t even realize how much I was hoping he wasn’t that guy that will kill me and skin me until he brought it up. In fact, I went even far enough to hope that no one in the Yogurt shop was that guy. I can honestly say that I really hope I never meet that guy. I’m sure he would be an interesting individual, but I just don’t think our personalities would mesh well, if you know what I mean.
The worst thing is, I know my sister will go on another “not date’ with him. In fact, she told me so. Why? She thinks it’s funny. Plus “it’s not a date.” Well that’s really nice for her. But as for me, not that being the third wheel isn’t fun enough, but as conceited as it is, I personally just think my skin looks best on me. I know, I’m a freak.
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