Out of My Element
I always find it interesting how different people can be. I recognize and support the theory that no one can ever TRULY be original. There have been so many different people living on this Earth, that you are bound to have two people who are exactly the same. But maybe not. When I think about how many different ways a person can be different from another person, it seems very probable that each person is different in some way or another.
I haven’t felt like myself the last couple of days. Ever since I realized that I may not want what I think I wanted, I’ve been kinda lost. I don’t know what I want. My sister said that she didn’t agree with me feeling lost because of this. But the fact of the matter is, if I don’t know what I want, I have no focus. I can’t work toward something because I’m not sure what I should be working towards.
The whole thing is rather silly.
It would be extremely easy to just try to convince myself that I still want the thing that I did last week, but I just can’t go backwards like that. Now if I did achieve the thing I wanted before, I would be happy. Don’t get me wrong, that would still be nice. But it’s just not the thing I would go all in for anymore.
Having lost my focus on what I want has actually made me lazy. Now this is just a given, but I really don’t feel like doing anything. Cause what is the point? What ever I’m going to do, it’s not going to help me get closer to something. It’s not going to impress someone who I want to impress. It’s not even going to make me feel more accomplished. So really, what is the point?
These are all very destructive thoughts, which I am well aware of. I’ve been trying my best to reevaluate and refocus myself. It’s hard. I should have never lost it to begin with.
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